Watching
by Capricious Cherry
Summary: "It's the only way that it can be: with me on the sidelines, watching, observing, but never again entering the picture..." Oneshot, implied RinxLen.


_Note:_ Yeeeah. My first fic on FF since who knows when... but yeah. Just some random idea for a oneshot that popped into my head. Ah, and the writing style's quite different from my usual, so please review and tell me what you think of it ~

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything.

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**Watching**

My eyes follow the familiar, lanky figure across the cafe, their trademark blue sheen casually hidden behind a large pair of sunglasses. I watch as he takes a seat, alone and completely unaware that he's being observed. That's that way I want it, though. It's the only way that it can be: with me on the sidelines, watching, observing, but never again entering the picture. Those times when I did are long gone.

He flags a waiter over to his table, and, although I'm much too far away to hear anything, I already know what words are spilling from those lips as he absently rakes a slim hand through his perfectly mussed blonde hair. A simple cafe au lait, exactly the same as what was originally residing in the half-empty cup before me. Yes, I know this person well – after all, he's my twin brother.

We both wait in silence, his gaze falling on me briefly as his bright blue eyes roam lazily around the cafe, only to move on without a pause. There's no way that he could recognize me, not under this heavy guise. My identity is safe. My heart, however, is not. Even now, just watching from a distance, it takes all of my willpower to resist the urge to cry out his name, if only just for him to see me, actually _see_ me this time. I want to embrace him, fill this emptiness which tears at my very being, and speak all of those words that have been waiting for so long…

However, I don't. I resist, and the urge subsides after a while, like the obedient little dog that I've trained my emotions to function like. Good boy. I'll probably have to 'walk' them later on, though, since there's only so long one can pretend to smile. I know this from experience.

A black-clothed form crosses my field of vision, and my gaze goes with the waiter until he reaches that person's table, where the blonde accepts his drink with a nod and a smile. That smile… it's the same one that I had seen, what, almost every day of my life? Yet, the feelings it stirs within me are reluctant to go away, and I shove them aside with a slight scowl, reaching for my coffee, which is most likely already cold. As my fingers rest lightly on the handle, I catch sight of my brother in the exact same position, and draw my fingers back as though stung, although he proceeds to take a sip from his own cup. Of course. We're two halves of the same whole, after all – so why does this little coincidence surprise me? It shouldn't.

By the time that I've gathered myself together enough to risk another glance towards that table, I see that he's lit a cigarette, and is blowing little smoke rings around the cafe. Since when does he smoke? From what I can see, he seems quite natural at it as well, and it also appears that my eyes aren't the only set focused on him. He notices at almost the same moment as I do, but acts as though he hasn't, slowly swiveling his head in the direction of a pretty redhead as though he just felt like looking around. A typical move for him; at least that part hasn't changed. Somehow, that is a comforting thought.

His next move surprises me, however, when he simply graces her with a smile and moves on, gaze shifting to his watch. Does he have an appointment, perhaps? Most likely with an even better-looking girl, which is why he's decided to not even bother with the small fry. Taking a small sip of my lukewarm drink, I allow myself a small nod, knowing that my suspicions are most likely right on the mark.

He doesn't look at me, or even speak to me, but as I lower the cup, I suddenly know that he's aware of my presence. It's difficult to explain, but it's a gut feeling, and the knowledge scares me slightly. After all this time and all of those trials, our bond remains. Of this I am sure, since if even my own best friend couldn't recognize me this morning, I was confident in my disguise. My fear slowly melts into a dull numbness which is beginning to seep through my body as he simply finishes off his coffee and rises, pulling out a black fedora that I hadn't even noticed him holding before.

It feels as though we are complete strangers as he rises without a backward glance, and makes his way out of the cafe after leaving a single bill on the table. No, he doesn't speak to me, doesn't even acknowledge my presence as he carefully places the hat on, mind most likely having turned to other matters.

I give in at last, head falling downwards into my hands, where a wet sensation tickles them as the tears begin to fall.


End file.
